Imagine a situation:
You have a burning heart-ache. Your toddler is crying for you, your older daughter is waiting for you to iron her dress and your husband wants you to tie his tie. All at once. What do you do?
The correct answer is: take a pill and lay down. Tell the girl to attend to the crying toddler, the husband to iron her dress and figure out the tie issue himself.
I know this goes against all our (read: women) logic, as our instincts tell us to grab the toddler, and with him on one hip, ironing the dress with the other hand and tying the tie with a third. The heartache will do away eventually, right? We don’t have time for it now, when the world is falling apart!
The truth is: the world is NOT falling apart. This is NOT an existential crisis. This is not even a crisis at all! Our hubbies are perfectly capable to take care of themselves on every step of their day, but we, the women, do our best to train our men to forget about it. Besides, we not only voluntarily take up responsibilities that could and should be delegated, but we swear by them, make them our duty that cannot be bent. You know what such “natural” behavior comes to? Well, the worst case scenario is a woman falls irreparably ill and the whole family suffers, especially the kids. The every-day life scenario is this: the woman’s appearance suffers. Her hair is neglected, she gains weight due to poor diet, substituting regular meals for unhealthy snacks, she ceases using make-up for the lack of time and so on. Eventually, she starts hating her own self for the way she looks, she starts hating the kids for taking up so much of her time, she starts blaming her husband for not helping her which results in fights, scandals and – worst case – divorce. Now, my question is: who is to blame?
The answer is obvious, but really, really tough to embrace. It seems almost impossible for a modern women to implement the simple changes of delegating tasks and paying attention to her own self in her daily life, so that the whole family would benefit from!
P.S. Please don’t get me wrong, of course there are times when a woman does not have even a free minute to go to the bathroom, when she is alone with a toddler for weeks, for example. We all go through these stages. My point is to remind women to care for ourselves and not overload ourselves with jobs that can be shared. Or even better – neglected for a while 😉 But I’ll leave that list for another time!